A Journey Back...the day I said "I do" to pageant life.

I want to start by admitting...I don't ACTUALLY know that much about pageants from being in just one. Here's what I do know...

It's not ALL about how you look, but it's ALL about how you look. It is about hair, lashes, spray tans, five inch heels, and VERY large earrings (that one was a surprise to me). It is about wardrobe, and platforms (not the shoes), and sponsors, and burpees...so many burpees. It's about how you look in person and how you look on paper. I'm ok with it all. You can't ask a pageant to not be a pageant anymore than you can ask a lion to not be a lion...it is a beast with it's own agenda. The agenda is to find that special someone so, so special, special enough to represent us all as a collective state. Our state happens to be Indiana and our representative happens to be Mekayla Eppers. She is our Mrs. Indiana America 2017 and she is pretty cool. You can check her out here..https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=mekayla%20fawn.

Now, let's get back on track. Back in November of 2016 I started thinking about competing in the pageant and I was delightfully goaded on by Mrs. Indiana America 1984 Mary Lou Davis. She convinced me to run and here's where I would like to say that I ran head long into preparation with reckless abandon but really what I did was stumble and bumble around until about January when I realized...I'm a size sixteen beauty queen wanna be who is going to embarrass herself and all her supporters. It was then that I went in with reckless abandon. Now, from day one I knew my platform would be Ending Childhood Sexual Abuse Through Education and Empowerment. I also knew that Chaucie's Place, where I had chosen to focus my volunteer efforts, would be at the center of that platform if they would have me. I also knew that I would work hard to get whatever media attention I could and get more involved with the community in which I now live. I also hoped my hometown would support me and felt it would considering it is home to two winners of the Mrs. Indiana Title. I felt confident that I could learn some pageant ways...the make-up- no problem, the hair- no problem, the walking in five inch heels-problem, the plus size status-problem. I know, I know. This always seems to raise the red flag. Should I have to be a size eight or less to compete? no. Was it a requirement? no. Was it my personal requirement? yes. If I had been happy at a size sixteen I would have competed at a size sixteen. But I wasn't, so I didn't. I worked hard to get back to a size I had worn in the not to distant past. I wanted to and I did. If there's someone out there who wants to compete at a plus size I would cheer them on. If there is a size zero out there with little curves who wants to compete I would cheer them on. I just happen to be happy at a size eight.

So there I am in November, I'm once over the size I want to be; I've never done a pageant before; I don't have a custom dress maker (which I find out later is a thing); and I don't have a single pair of five inch platforms or a single pair of VERY large earrings. I have A platform. I have THE platform. I have my truth and I armed myself with that truth, I got comfortable in that armor, I shined it and took it out to dress rehearsal.

Then I went to battle. (In a swimsuit, hooter girl pantyhose and five inch glittery platform heels) And this is where things get interesting...